Just Say I Dont Know
Why am I writing this? I dont know. I can give reasons, but I cant be sure they are accurate. Such ignorance is okay, or at least it should be. The temptation is always to explain, but that often does nothing useful. In fact, it can just get in the way of actual understanding. et me explain...
Rationalization 101John was hypnotised, and given the posthypnotic instruction to get up and put on his coat whenever the doctor touched his nose. Once out of the trance, they talked. During the conversation, the doctor scratched his nose, and John immediately stood up and put on his coat.
The doctor asked him why. "Oh, I thought we were finished," John said, and he took off the coat. A minute later, the doctor touched his nose again. John again immediately stood up and put on his coat. "Its getting cold in here," he explained.
This scenario is not unique to hypnosis. Theres a lot that goes into our decisions and actions, and we act as though were aware of it all. Just like poor John, we feel compelled to explain ourselves and to believe our explanations. Rationalization is one of our strongest habits.
I Dont KnowA child throws a plate at his brother, and his mother demands "Why would you do that!?" He says, "I dont know," which is true, but not acceptable. Pychologists couldnt, in five seconds, understand the childs action with certainty, but a sixyearold is expected to do just that.
He may not understand, but he learns quickly to explain himself. By adulthood, it is rare for any of us to say "I dont know" when asked about our behavior. There is a problem with that, though. How can we ever learn the true causes if we already accept our explanations?
Accepting Our IgnoranceA better way to approach these issues is to get in the habit of saying "I dont know." You can follow it with "Maybe its because of..." and let the explanations spill out, but dont be too quick to accept any of them. Understand that it isnt always necessary to explain.
For example, even if you never know why you avoid a certain person, isnt it better to leave the question open than to accept a false explanation based on a habit of selfjustification? eave questions unanswered, and you may someday have a better understanding. Quick answers mean a quick stop in your thinking.
Selfexplanation can be the death of selfunderstanding. earn to accept your ignorance, and to keep observing yourself. Just say, "I dont know."
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